1 reply to this topic

[nicwebmail]

Hope you guys will like it...

This is what essence for Yr 2008 for some of people is…

Whenever you find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
_____

To Err is human,
but to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
_____

The road to success??..
Is always under construction.
_____

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems,
but if you think again, neither does Milk.
_____

In order to get a Loan,
you first need to prove that you have ability to repay back.
_____

All the desirable things in life are
either illegal, expensive or fattening.
_____

Since Light travels faster than Sound,
people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
_____

Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?..
Which never works.
_____

If at first you don't succeed?.
Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
_____

You can never determine which side of the bread to butter.
If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
_____

Anything dropped on the floor...
will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
_____

42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.
_____

As soon as you mention something??
If it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
_____

He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
_____

If you come early, the bus is late.
If you come late?? The bus is still late.

If u r early the boss is late.

If u r late the boss is early.

If u r driving rash all slow drivers r fools

If u r driving slow God should accident all rash drivers
_____

Once you have bought something...
you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
_____

When in a queue, the other line always moves faster ....
and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
_____

If you have paper, you don't have a pen. If you have a pen, you don't have paper.
If you have both, no one calls.
_____

Especially for engg. Students :
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
_____

You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
_____

The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
_____

After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together
and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
_____

If your exam is tomorrow...
there will be a power cut tonight.
_____

Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette...
will always tend to go to the non-smoker
_____

Before borrowing money from a friend...
decide whether you need more.
_____

There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
_____

An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand...
and makes it sound confusing.
_____

Many things can be preserved in alcohol....
Dignity is not one of them.
_____

Never argue with a fool...
People might not know the difference.
_____

When you're right, no one remembers....
When you're wrong, no one forgets.
_____

Always remember that you are absolutely unique...
Just like everyone else.
_____

Well done is better than well said .
_____

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when...
nobody is looking...
_____

Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY,
Where there is MONEY, there are many WAYS...
_____

Where there is MONEY, there are....
many FRIENDS and RELATIVES...
_____

Everybody wants to go to heaven...
but nobody wants to die.

_____



Hello and thank you for calling The Helpdesk.
Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and
your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully
and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
It doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep
or before the beep or after the beep.
But Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss , press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

(But do not go to a barber and tell him for a Haircut

Coz it will end up in Gazni look)

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down,
hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.
You'll just mess it up.


Regards
nic

[rino]

Thanks NIC for sharing that one.


Wishing you all a happy new year