Hope you guys will like it...
This is what essence for Yr 2008 for some of people is…
Whenever you find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
To Err is human,
but to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
The road to success??..
Is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems,
but if you think again, neither does Milk.
In order to get a Loan,
you first need to prove that you have ability to repay back.
All the desirable things in life are
either illegal, expensive or fattening.
Since Light travels faster than Sound,
people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?..
Which never works.
If at first you don't succeed?.
Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter.
If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
Anything dropped on the floor...
will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.
As soon as you mention something??
If it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late.
If you come late?? The bus is still late.
If u r early the boss is late.
If u r late the boss is early.
If u r driving rash all slow drivers r fools
If u r driving slow God should accident all rash drivers
Once you have bought something...
you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster ....
and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
If you have paper, you don't have a pen. If you have a pen, you don't have paper.
If you have both, no one calls.
Especially for engg. Students :
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together
and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
If your exam is tomorrow...
there will be a power cut tonight.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette...
will always tend to go to the non-smoker
Before borrowing money from a friend...
decide whether you need more.
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand...
and makes it sound confusing.
Many things can be preserved in alcohol....
Dignity is not one of them.
Never argue with a fool...
People might not know the difference.
When you're right, no one remembers....
When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique...
Just like everyone else.
Well done is better than well said .
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when...
nobody is looking...
Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY,
Where there is MONEY, there are many WAYS...
Where there is MONEY, there are....
many FRIENDS and RELATIVES...
Everybody wants to go to heaven...
but nobody wants to die.
Hello and thank you for calling The Helpdesk.
Please select from the following options menu:
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If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and
your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully
and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
It doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep
or before the beep or after the beep.
But Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss , press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
(But do not go to a barber and tell him for a Haircut
Coz it will end up in Gazni look)
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down,
hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.
You'll just mess it up.
Wish you a Happy New Year 2009
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